A: “What’s your email?”
B: “It’s just my name @ Gmail.”
A: “You young kids and your crazy email names. Back in MY day if you didn’t have four numbers and a video game reference in your email you just weren’t 1337.”
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A: “Say hocus pocus.”
B: “Pocus locust.”
A: “You fucking disgrace.”
Submitted by: @some-random-blowjob-gone-wrong
A: “He ruined my life in seven words.”
B: “Y’ALL WANNA DO METH MOTHERFUCKERS YEEEEAAAAAHH SSSSOOOONNNNN.”
“I think books should be called still pictures, but with words. Like how movies are moving pictures. But books don’t move.”
Submitted by: @bcbornandblazed
“What’s life without laughing? There’s a reason the words on the wall don’t just say ‘Live, Love.’”
Submitted by: @bcbornandblazed
A: “I didn’t understand most of what you just said.”
B: “Well, that’s probably because I wasn’t really saying words. I was pretty much just making sounds and hoping no one was paying attention.”
Submitted by: @mufbat880
“Heed my words and word my heeds.”
Submitted by: @lapis-louise
A: “Text me if you get mugged.”
B: “I’ll also text you if -I- mug anyone.”
A: “Are you prepared to mug anyone?”
B: ”I’m always up for trying new things.”
“Johnny Test was the best anime by far”
Submitted by: @some-random-blowjob-gone-wrong
“Godzilla is T-H-I-Q-U-E.”
Submitted by: @some-random-blowjob-gone-wrong
“As a Republican, what are your thoughts on George Washington?”
Submitted by: @pantsless-wonder